Thursday, October 25, 2012

The Killers

No, not the ones from Vegas.  These are short personals (for lack of a better term) for ten slasher/horror movie killers.  For the actual quiz, we'd accept either the name of the killer or the name of the franchise.  If you'd like to up the difficulty, you can score it 1/2 point for killer, 1/2 point for franchise.

1.   My mother was a huge inspiration to me and I try to follow in her footsteps.  My unique look shows I’ve got a bit of a sporty side, and I love to be around the water (especially lakes!)  I also come equipped to hack my way through the jungle or any other sorts of rough terrain.  Even though I love my home town, I’ve traveled to New York, and even outer space!
2. Even though I was set on fire by some over protective parents, I haven’t let that keep me from being the man of your dreams.   My fedora gives me a touch of class, and my holiday colored sweater shows off my love of the holiday season!
3. Sure my grandmother was a little odd which led to a rough upbringing… and my last marriage ended badly, but I have a lot of positive qualities to offer!  I’ll watch over you while you sleep (sometimes standing next to you for hours at a time)!  I’m extremely devoted to my nephew Hunter (I’m all about sacrifice!) since his mother died.  I’m also used to being on all sorts of camera, so if that’s your thing, I’m the girl for you!
4.  I’m a family oriented man from Haddonfield, Illinois who will do anything to find my sister.  I love sci-fi, especially Captain Kirk (I wear my William Shatner mask whenever I can.)  I’m in touch with my inner child, and I’ve been seeing the same therapist (Dr. Loomis) on an off for my entire life. 
5. OK, I’ve had a bad childhood, and my mother threw me down a well to get rid of me, but I’ve managed to turn that tragedy into a killer career on video cassette.  Give me seven days and I’ll find you anywhere! (Keep some towels on hand, things tend to get wet after I visit.)
6. Sure, I’m never the same guy twice, but my outfit is inspired by a classic painting!  Granted, I don’t like girls named Sidney, but other than that I’m flexible!
7.  I’m a devoted Texas family man, with a strong interest in arts and crafts (I even make my own masks!)  My family and I are avid hunters, but we’re not wasteful.  Other than eating our kills, we also use bones and skins to improve our home!
8. Look, I’m not like the other guys on this list.  I’m not out to kill anyone, I’m just trying to get them to realize that they’re wasting their lives.  I can’t do this without putting them in hideously complicated torture apparatuses forcing them to make tough choices to save their lives.
9. Good things come in small packages.  I’m very child friendly and I’ll even let kids treat me like a toy!  I’m also very spiritual, possessing a strong interest in voodoo.
10. Everyone loves an accent, and mine’s straight outta the Emerald Isle.  No one has ever called me handsome, but a pot of gold can make up for a whole lot of ugly (and a lack of height…)

 The Answers:

  1. Jason Voorhees/Friday the 13th
  2. Freddy Krueger/Nightmare on Elm Street
  3. Katie/Paranormal Activity
  4. Michael Myers/Halloween
  5. Samara (or Sadako)/The Ring (or Ringu)
  6. Ghostface/Scream
  7. Leatherface (Sawyer or Thomas Brown Hewitt, for the truly nerdy)/Texas Chainsaw Massacre
  8. Jigsaw (John Kramer)/ Saw
  9. Chucky (Charles Lee Ray)/Child's Play
  10. Leprechaun/Leprechaun

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